The Timberwolves: The New Clippers

Post #3

 

The Minnesota Clippers

 

I don’t even know where to begin on this one.  We all know that this particular NBA Draft sucked, it lacked an overall substance.  Sure Blake Griffin is a good player, maybe even All-Star caliber.  But what we are forgetting here is that Griffin would have gone 4th in the 2008 draft after Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley, and OJ Mayo.  The team that drafted Griffin, the Los Angeles Clippers finally made their best organizational decision of the best 25 years.  This is the same team that drafted a guy with the last name Olowokandi number one out of Pacific.  Yes, that’s right, Pacific University.  The guy’s nickname was the Kandiman for Christ’s sake.  There was a moment during the #1 selection this year where I honestly thought that the Clippers may have considered trading their pick or drafting another incompetent player.  But, they actually got it right.  The Clippers actually got it right.  All is good, all is swell, The Clippers have finally done something right meaning that the NBA may have just got smarter and now it is a possibility that all these teams are actually managed correctly.  But wow, I was more wrong than Calvin Murphy and all those molested babies.

The Minnesota Timberwolves had to go and mess it up.  After drafting their point guard of the future (Ricky Rubio), they go and draft another point guard (Jonny Flynn)?  And then they have the decency to go out and say that the two of them can play together in the same offense?  No Minnesota, they fucking can’t.  They are two fucking point guards.  This isn’t Thomas and Dumars, or Kidd and Kevin Johnson, fuck this isn’t even Marbury and Francis.  They are two fucking point guards.  Once I thought the Timberwolves could not get any more retarded, they go and draft a guy name Henk with the 47th pick.  Henk Norel, some guy from the Netherlands who looks exactly like Rik Smits.  The only difference is that Smits was actually a good player for some time and Norel, well he’s just Henk.  The Henkman averaged a measly 6.8 points a game in Spain.  How the fuck does that translate to the NBA Minnesota?  I would love to know how your boy Henk is gonna do anything in the NBA. 

Then it got me thinking, “Maybe your wrong Solandog, maybe Rubio and Flynn can play together.  And maybe Henk Norel can produce in the NBA, shit he did play with Rubio in Spain.  Maybe this can all work out.”  While I pondered my thoughts and realized maybe I’m the dumb one in this situation, maybe the Wolves are geniuses.  Maybe Ricky Rubio really wants to play in Minnesota where the Spanish population is in the negative and where he can’t get a burrito or whatever the fuck they eat for 1000 miles.  Once I finally got to my breaking point and figured maybe this can all work, Ricky Rubio – the mop head 125 pound 8th grader that he is stepped out and said that he doesn’t want to play in Minnesota and that if he is not traded he will go back to Spain.  Holy shit Ricky!  Almost as great of a twist as Unbreakable with Willis and Samuel L.  Oh wait, no it’s not because every fucking person in the movie theater knew that Samuel L. was a fucking lunatic in a wheelchair.  Everyone knew.  Just like everyone knew that Ricky Rubio was taking his petite frame away from Minnesota ASAP.  

 

Rubio Bites Balls Hard - Do You Want This New York?

 

 

This 14 year old pre-pubescent spanish skunt is now controlling the future of the Minnesota Timberwolves.  But how can we blame him?  We really can’t.  Who would want to A. Play on a team right after they drafted another player to compete with you when you are supposed to be the golden child and B. Play in Minnesota where the temperature never rises above freezing and where the closest rub and tug is 400 miles away.  God, I know I wouldn’t.  

So enter the New York Knicks, and enter Donnie Walsh a graduate of Fordham Prep – the biggest pussy prep school in the New York area.  The Knicks need a point guard.  They missed out on Rubio and Stephen Curry in the draft and Mike D’Antoni is seriously jacking off at the thought of Rubio running his run & gun offense.  Shit, anything is an improvement over Chris Duhon.  I really hope Donnie Walsh is able to discuss this trade without dying.  I seriously thought he was dead about 7 years ago before he came to the Knicks.  Old bastard.  If I was Donnie I’d contact those retard fucks running the New Clippers and offer them this:

The expiring contract of the biggest alien on Earth, Al Harrington, a first round pick in ’10 and either a couple 2nd rounders or somebody like Duhon who also has an expiring contract for Rubio.  Shit, maybe they can even throw in Henk.